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Illusion |
March 24, 2008
Today I am here to write about an illusion in my life.
Here I sit writing about the illusion of appearance.
I believe that if my appearance changes then I will have the
relationship in my life that I so want. So why then do I not get the
job done—why do I still treat my earthly vehicle in a way that
leaves it unhealthy? I still have not learned to take the same care
I would of others myself. I still see myself as I am inside—I do not
really recognize what I look like, for when I look in the mirror I
see the beautiful soul I am—not what my physical body looks like.
But at the same time I tell myself that someone else would not want
to see this body… So am I hiding from myself…Is the illusion about
protecting myself from the unknown-this way there is an excuse from
completing this task. Is the illusion about keeping the physical
separate? Not integrating it and balancing it with all else in my
life.
Or is the illusion about what I look like and how I take care of
myself? Or is the illusion just the belief that stops those that may
see the true me walk into my life? Does it really matter that I do
not have someone in my life-is that truly important? Will that
outcome really give me what I am looking for? Or will that just
distract me from the true heart of myself? More questions.
The important thing is this-nothing outside of myself can complete
me-that is the lesson-so if I can figure out what I think is missing
and give it to myself—then and only then will the true heart be
completed and the relationship I desire will come into being.
Why I do not eat properly and do not exercise is not an excuse or
protection or giving my physical body some kind of pleasure—it is
just a bad habit that I need to replace with good ones for I am
worth the care and time and effort. It is also emotional and
pleasure that is associated-comfort for me. I need to find comfort
in giving myself what I need-I can provide and take care of myself
in all other ways. Even though I see the soul inside me when I look
in the mirror, do I really feel it deserves to be all it can be?
I know that I do not see myself as others see me-I sometimes wonder
what it is that people really see in me—there is a spark they see
sometimes that I just don’t get all the time. I get it sometimes,
just not all the time. I know it is about connecting to my higher
power and trusting that if I listen to the wise ones guiding me,
nothing can go wrong.
I have accomplished getting over the illusion that sex equaled love.
That one was huge for me. Now I see that the illusion is really
figuring out what love means to me and how it fits into my life in
all ways in order for me to be balanced and whole. So why I eat is
more than appearance as it ties to the basic foundation of what love
means to me. It is foundation for me-truly the base on which all is
built and if I was not overweight I would not know who I was at all.
I would have no excuses for anything that did not work out. But what
an illusion that is-for today I know myself better than at any time
in my life. I realize that I can be successful, happy and whole in
all ways and I am willing to do the work to get there.
The illusion I choose to write about is time and how it affects me
in my daily life. I realize that time is an illusion and yet living
in this physical world it is a necessity in order to complete tasks
and make marks to complete goals. Sometimes I seem to go through my
life—always looking forward to “get through” busy times. I have
probably spent a large portion of my life thinking “Just let me get
through this week, through this project, through this issue…” Well,
the thing is NOW is the important time-not wishing your life away as
it is. Living in the now is a wonderful way in which to live your
life as it truly breaks down the illusion of time. Do we not want to
relish this moment in time-we will never get it back-it will never
be the same and it will not matter tomorrow. It is easier to relish
those special moments-birthdays, holidays, special family events.
But is it not just as important to relish the drive to work-noticing
the sun shining, hawk flying above and even the gift of having that
time to de-stress, talk to your guides, say your prayers and enjoy
that fleeting moment of time. It is also important when you enter
the work world to assess your day, making sure you have time to
accomplish the necessary tasks, and yet, not to let the day get away
from you with the rushing to and fro without conscious thought. Ah,
there is a word—conscious-when we are conscious of what we are doing
when we are doing it; the illusion of time is just that-an illusion.
Time is an illusion because too often we unconsciously go through
the motions and allow it to pass unnoticed as everything else crowds
in. Again unconscious.
We also need to watch that we are not rushing through our current
life-today-now but we must not dwell on the past either. Once we try
to be conscious in all matters of the time and day we begin to
meditate each moment. Know what it is to feel your body as it walks,
feet hitting the ground with each step, arms swinging at your side.
What does it feel like to brush your teeth? What does the toothbrush
feel like in your hands? What does the toothpaste taste like? What
does the brush feel like against your teeth?
Yes, it seems silly, but yet this is being in the NOW—not worrying
about what happens when you get to work, what happens when you get
home from work and especially not what happened yesterday.
So the illusion of time—what time really is—it is the snippets of
emotions, thoughts, and physical experiences that give you an
experience—it is how you look at and ponder those
experiences-conscious or unconscious—knowing your energy and how it
reacts with those experiences. By choosing to be conscious of these
experiences you allow yourself to move beyond your fears and
insecurities and move to a whole new way of being. It helps you to
begin to shift your perceptions breaking down our self limiting
beliefs about ourselves and where we are going.
My wish is this—
Dear God,
Please allow me this day to ponder only what each moment brings
There is no tomorrow
There is no past
The thoughts that go through my head are those pertaining to the joy
of this moment
I feel with every ounce of my body all the feelings this moment
brings
I know the gifts this moment brings are for my highest and best
As I ponder these wonders I realize that every fiber of my being is
alive
As I meditate in this second of time I am one with God.
Thank you for these blessings, love and peace.
Amen. |
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Whispers Through
The Light...
Mary Perry
Sparrows Point, Maryland
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